Daniel, so glad you decided to write about your experience, you survived, you won against Damian who I imagine is not a happy person today. I believe someone so nasty can’t change. I was asked a few years back if I would forgive my bully. He means nothing to me today but I wouldn’t betray the 11 year old that was me and suicidal. The only positives I can take from it is that I’m empathetic towards anyone or any minorities that are abused this way.
Having been bullied in school and college because of my appearance and my shyness, I know how painful your experiences have been. I have never fully overcome all the negativity in my life and its affected me badly. But thankyou for posting this. It's so good to see how you are overcoming your bad experiences. You're a star and achieved so much already. Wishing you all the best for your future Daniel.
My goodness Daniel - what a brave post! You have endured a lot and as painful as the process sounds, you came through stronger on the end of it. Well done, you, and please don't dwell on that negative person. Just remember that often high school bullies tend to peak at that time in their lives and spend the rest of their days wondering how they can go back and say sorry. The best thing one can do is move forward and focus on the future - leave their negativity behind. Take care.
Oh Daniel, I could feel the heavy weight of your ordeal. You bore up under it like a champ, using coping skills and support from Ms. H like a balm. Bless you. I’m SO glad you are on the other side and that you trusted your audience.
Daniel - Thank you for having the courage to share. You are a brave man. You survived. Your story will help many others who experience bullying that you can survive. God bless you
Hi Daniel, You are such a caring person and it shows in your amazing work. What happened to you in school should never ever happen. It may sound silly now but you will find 'your tribe'. People with the same or similar beliefs and values as you, it will happen! Stay true to yourself. I am so glad that you wrote about what happened to you, it took courage to do this. Not only can you begin to heal but you just never know who you are helping. Be kind to yourself.
Hi Daniel, you have done something that has made you feel better - writing your post; this is a really tough thing to do but it is a demonstration of your strength and self worth to go through the pain of writing about those dreadful times and memories in order for you too feel better through your writing. A massive positive step.
You're not a fool nor do you have a fault by being more mature, this sounds like the bully talking, not you. So I would like to say you're a mature young man with a passion and skill for genealogy, a fool cannot do that!
Keep those dear thoughts of your Grandad close to you and draw more strength from them and have a fabulous 21st birthday in a few weeks - you deserve it. Jude
I know this is still fairly fresh for you as you're still quite young. Let me apologize FOR "Damien".
I was a bit bullied at school in the younger years, but also did some bullying in higher grades. I'm not proud of it and have (at the age of 27 [I'm 67 now]) contacted those I was aware of having hurt, asking for their forgiveness.
I was bullied at home by my siblings. It was a matter of mental and emotional survival to be able to verbally joust. I was the youngest of 5 and my parents never intervened. My parents were not abusive, but should have stopped the verbal abuse between the 5 of us kids. I suspect Damien was likely abused at home. That's what he knew. He did it to try to feel better about himself. (It didn't help him.) I've heard many times that, un-forgiveness is like drinking poison with the hope that it will hurt the other person. Forgiveness doesn't mean you allow that person back in your life.
Again, as a fellow former bully, please consider forgiving Damien, for your own mental health. He never need know. It's for you to know. :-)
A powerful account that I believe will impact others by giving them hope. Thank you for sharing.
As a side note, the “mindfulness” activity you mentioned is something I have used with the young girls in my Girl Scout troop as well as with my girlfriends. It’s a treasure for sure.
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your story. I also experienced bullying in middle school and it took me much longer than you to process those emotions, so kudos! Also, a surprising twist to my story… one of my bullies ended up apologizing to me and asking for forgiveness… almost 20 years after it happened. Thanks for all your contributions to the genealogy community!
Proud of you Daniel. You have truly come a long way. Please continue to use writing as an outlet in your personal and professional life. It is important to be able to share stories like this. Entries like this will allow you to remember the resilience and growth you are capable of during times of worry and doubt. Wishing you continued growth and prosperity. 💚
Daniel: We have never met in person, but I have been following you on Twitter and your blogs for a while now. I'm a 42 yr old genealogist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA. You're blog post (it's really much more than that) meant a lot to me and sounded very familiar to my teenage years. I've dealt with depression and anxiety since I was 11 yrs old. At that age, I started to stutter terribly and of course my bullies loved to pick on me for that. While I have, to some degree, stopped caring what others think and say, those school days still haunt me. However, I can say that I am now doing what I love (genealogy!) and helping others find their families. I am working on a book which will include research on the people my ancestors enslaved at a plantation in Virginia. I feel like the education I received at the school with the bullies has helped me as a writer and genealogist. Things do work out in the end. You are a role model for young genealogists and actually genealogists of all ages. Keep up the great work! I appreciate you! You may have inspired me to write a similar blog post of my own.
Joseph, thank you for sharing that. I can only imagine what you had went through. I'm glad you have been able to grow and flourish to do something you're passionate about. If you ever do write a blog post about this, I'm more than happy to read it, should you wish.
Thank you for having the courage to share this, Daniel. Hugs to your 15-year-old self.
Thank you so much for reading, Sue. ❤️
Daniel, so glad you decided to write about your experience, you survived, you won against Damian who I imagine is not a happy person today. I believe someone so nasty can’t change. I was asked a few years back if I would forgive my bully. He means nothing to me today but I wouldn’t betray the 11 year old that was me and suicidal. The only positives I can take from it is that I’m empathetic towards anyone or any minorities that are abused this way.
Well done Daniel, onwards and upwards.
Oh, Carmel. I’m so sorry you went through that — I’m glad to know you. ❤️
Having been bullied in school and college because of my appearance and my shyness, I know how painful your experiences have been. I have never fully overcome all the negativity in my life and its affected me badly. But thankyou for posting this. It's so good to see how you are overcoming your bad experiences. You're a star and achieved so much already. Wishing you all the best for your future Daniel.
My goodness Daniel - what a brave post! You have endured a lot and as painful as the process sounds, you came through stronger on the end of it. Well done, you, and please don't dwell on that negative person. Just remember that often high school bullies tend to peak at that time in their lives and spend the rest of their days wondering how they can go back and say sorry. The best thing one can do is move forward and focus on the future - leave their negativity behind. Take care.
So sorry you went through that mate. You have come through it amazingly.
Oh Daniel, I could feel the heavy weight of your ordeal. You bore up under it like a champ, using coping skills and support from Ms. H like a balm. Bless you. I’m SO glad you are on the other side and that you trusted your audience.
Daniel - Thank you for having the courage to share. You are a brave man. You survived. Your story will help many others who experience bullying that you can survive. God bless you
Hi Daniel, You are such a caring person and it shows in your amazing work. What happened to you in school should never ever happen. It may sound silly now but you will find 'your tribe'. People with the same or similar beliefs and values as you, it will happen! Stay true to yourself. I am so glad that you wrote about what happened to you, it took courage to do this. Not only can you begin to heal but you just never know who you are helping. Be kind to yourself.
Hi Daniel, you have done something that has made you feel better - writing your post; this is a really tough thing to do but it is a demonstration of your strength and self worth to go through the pain of writing about those dreadful times and memories in order for you too feel better through your writing. A massive positive step.
You're not a fool nor do you have a fault by being more mature, this sounds like the bully talking, not you. So I would like to say you're a mature young man with a passion and skill for genealogy, a fool cannot do that!
Keep those dear thoughts of your Grandad close to you and draw more strength from them and have a fabulous 21st birthday in a few weeks - you deserve it. Jude
I know this is still fairly fresh for you as you're still quite young. Let me apologize FOR "Damien".
I was a bit bullied at school in the younger years, but also did some bullying in higher grades. I'm not proud of it and have (at the age of 27 [I'm 67 now]) contacted those I was aware of having hurt, asking for their forgiveness.
I was bullied at home by my siblings. It was a matter of mental and emotional survival to be able to verbally joust. I was the youngest of 5 and my parents never intervened. My parents were not abusive, but should have stopped the verbal abuse between the 5 of us kids. I suspect Damien was likely abused at home. That's what he knew. He did it to try to feel better about himself. (It didn't help him.) I've heard many times that, un-forgiveness is like drinking poison with the hope that it will hurt the other person. Forgiveness doesn't mean you allow that person back in your life.
Again, as a fellow former bully, please consider forgiving Damien, for your own mental health. He never need know. It's for you to know. :-)
I hear you, Julie. I may be able to at one stage - but it may take me some time to get there.
A powerful account that I believe will impact others by giving them hope. Thank you for sharing.
As a side note, the “mindfulness” activity you mentioned is something I have used with the young girls in my Girl Scout troop as well as with my girlfriends. It’s a treasure for sure.
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your story. I also experienced bullying in middle school and it took me much longer than you to process those emotions, so kudos! Also, a surprising twist to my story… one of my bullies ended up apologizing to me and asking for forgiveness… almost 20 years after it happened. Thanks for all your contributions to the genealogy community!
Proud of you Daniel. You have truly come a long way. Please continue to use writing as an outlet in your personal and professional life. It is important to be able to share stories like this. Entries like this will allow you to remember the resilience and growth you are capable of during times of worry and doubt. Wishing you continued growth and prosperity. 💚
Thank you, Whitney! Good to hear from you… ❤️
Flippin' bumpy yes indeed. My teen high school years kids used to bark at me in the hallway (ugly as a dog). I'm 64 now.
Thank you for sharing. You are a wonderful person. And yes, hugs to your 15 yr old self.
Definitely difficult to ‘❤️’ that. Please take my ‘like’ as a virtual hug from me. I’m sorry you had to go through that, Helene…
I’m proud to consider you my friend and colleague, Daniel.
Daniel: We have never met in person, but I have been following you on Twitter and your blogs for a while now. I'm a 42 yr old genealogist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA. You're blog post (it's really much more than that) meant a lot to me and sounded very familiar to my teenage years. I've dealt with depression and anxiety since I was 11 yrs old. At that age, I started to stutter terribly and of course my bullies loved to pick on me for that. While I have, to some degree, stopped caring what others think and say, those school days still haunt me. However, I can say that I am now doing what I love (genealogy!) and helping others find their families. I am working on a book which will include research on the people my ancestors enslaved at a plantation in Virginia. I feel like the education I received at the school with the bullies has helped me as a writer and genealogist. Things do work out in the end. You are a role model for young genealogists and actually genealogists of all ages. Keep up the great work! I appreciate you! You may have inspired me to write a similar blog post of my own.
Joseph, thank you for sharing that. I can only imagine what you had went through. I'm glad you have been able to grow and flourish to do something you're passionate about. If you ever do write a blog post about this, I'm more than happy to read it, should you wish.